deer dyarie

well i am noodles and i am a poodle and i am 12 yeers old.

Monday, January 09, 2006

I went bakc to France!

Well hello agan deer reeders, it is mi, Noosdel the pooedl. Sorry i half knot BLOGGED in a wile, but I was away in FRANCE again last weak! Four the unitnis...the unitishi....the uneneshiat...the knew reeders, FRANCE is mi pet-sitter daddye. I go to stay at her playce when daddye kan't take kare of mi.
Sew last weak, other daddye had to half surgery, so daddye desided I shuld go back to FRANCE wile other daddye better. I was supposeded to kome hoam on Thurrsdaye, but FRANCE daddye lyked me sew much she kalled and konvinsed daddye to let me stay until Sunday. Wich daddye agreed to bekaws other daddye kneaded to BEDREST for a wile aftur her operation. She is doin OK and I am happye bekaws I loves mi other daddye!
Whilst I was in FRANCE, FRANCE DADDYE let mi doo so many things that daddye and other daddye doo not! Sew wen I got hoam I tryed to esplain this deskrep...discripan...disparity.
i tryed to kome sitt on the soafa with daddye and he sed NO POODLE, STAY DOWN THERE.
i said "Daddye, did yew now in FRANCE they let POODELS sit on the soafa wen ever they wont too?"
But he egnored me. Layter, I tryed to gett some of his bagele and he sed "NO POODLE! GIT DOWN!"
i said "Daddye, did yew now in FRANCE poodels kan eat watever they wont, wenever they wont? Daddye, did yew now in FRANCE, poodles half a fresh bowel of yoggert drops avalable at all tymes?"
But he egnored me again! NOOSDEL!
Leighter, daddye was watching the Steelers game but I wonted to watch kartoons! I tried to git the remote, but daddye sed "NO POODEL! I'M WATCHING THIS!"
i said "Daddye, did yew now in FRANCE, poosdels kan watch kartoons or animal planet wenever they wont?"
But he wuld not change the shannel! Hmmph, i will halve to take daddye to FRANCE to show him how to treet a poodel!!!!

Luv, french poodle

Monday, December 19, 2005

A fu of mi favurette things

Well hello there, it is me, Noolsed the poodel, tiping in my BLOG to tell u how kold it is hear in Shekago! It is TOO degreez rite now owtside and the poodel is kold! I am so kold!!!
I went for a walk with daddye this mourning and my bum-bum was so kold I kuld not seem to go pottee. Daddye said kum on poodel, let's play a game kalled "hurree the fukc up!" but it was so kold i did not now wat to do! So daddye mayde me kum enside and I will tri to poop later but i kan make no garunteez.

Anywayz, I am kompiling a list of my new favorites foods and I thught i wuld cher them with yoo mi loyale reeders:

Yogurt drops
Appel cores
bananana peels
durty tissues
breethe rite nosal strips
barbqu sawse

Wen i t hink of moor, i will let yoo now. If you want to give me any of the above foods, or send me kartoons, just emale mee, noolsed, and i will arrange deelivery.

Luv, hungry and KOLD poodel

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I went to France!

Well hello there! It is me, Noosdel the poodel, bakc frum mi vakashun and tiping my hart out for YOO, my loyale reeders!
I halve such an ecksiting storee for yoo! I had sutch an adventshure last weak! It all started wen daddye and other daddye desided they were going to go to noo yurk city for thannksgeving. I was very ecksited bekaws I had never been there befure and i wanted to go bark at david latterman daddye and pee on the statute of libertea.
But much to mi dissmay, they desided not to bring me! ME! Noosdel! I was SO MAD AND SAD wen i herd the newz!! But then daddye told me that i was going to FRANCE instead! Hear is a picksure of me and the Ifell tower!

I had never ben to FRANCE befur! So kneedless to saye, I was qite giddy! I now that FRANCE is an ecksiting country wif lawts of fun sites to see, but I did not now that FRANCE also wurks as a PETSITTER DADDYE. Daddye sayd she speshalizes in small, sentsitiv dawgs lyke me. I do NOT think i am sentsitiv! Do yoo?? Wat does daddye meen bi that?
Befur he went to noo yurk, daddye took me to meat FRANCE daddye so i wuld not be skared wen he dropped me off fur a weak. Wen we went to FRANCE, there wur too SCHNOWZERS there alreddy. We went enside and they ran over to me and started smelling me in my UNMENSHUNABLES. I was so skared! AND MAD AND SAD! I do not like my UNMENSHUNAMABLES to be diddled with. I did NOT appruve! But after are awkwerd introduckshon, they turned owt to be pretty nise dawgs and we played for a bit.
They were not there wen daddye too me back to FRANCE for mi VAKATSHUN a fyoo dayz layter. But there was a BASSETTE HOWND named bernie daddye and he was so nise! We frolicked and smelled each other and ran arownd and frolicked. It was such fun! I liked bernie daddye! But wile i was frolicking, daddye disapeared! I was so mad and sad! I said "French daddye! where is mi daddye! tell me! RIGHT NOW!"
She sayd he went to noo yurk and that i wuld stay hear for won weak. I did not beleeve her and i sat bi the door wayting for daddye to come back. After a wile, French daddye let me sit with her on the sofa, and we wawtched TEEVEE. But she wuld not let me watch cartoons! And she tried to moove me after i was kumfortable, so i BITED her, even tho i don't halve manny teeths left. It is bekaws i didn't floss as a puppy dog, so all you kids out there, make sure you floss my teeths!
Anywayz, after a bit, i stareted to engoy my trip to FRANCE and met a bunch of other small dawgs, sum of hoom i lyked to play with and others of hoom i BITED wen they tryed to smell me on my DOODLE. But i mostley had a good tyme. JOODY kame with me to FRANCE and so did my yogurt drops and mi food dish, so I was not too lonely, even thowgh i missed daddye and other daddye.
But then won daye they came back! French daddye put my koate on (it was reeelly kold!!) and we went for a kar ryde and we stopped and the dour oopened and there was daddye and other daddye!!! I was so happy i barked and kried and kaugfed on both of them and got confoosed and jumped back in france daddye's car, but then we went enside and had yogurt drops and frolicked! I was happy to be home but I will never forgit my trip to FRANCE. She was NISE!

Luv, french poodle

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Think owtsyde the box other daddye!

Well hello there. This is me, Noodsel the pewdel, tiping at yew live again in my BLOG. Sorry I have not tiped in a wile, but I am verry bizy as I menshuned erlier with my yogga class and book club and all the commewnetty servece that I dew. Aannywayz I am here now tiping at yew, so be grayteful for that. It's me! Nooedels! I am number won TIPER!
I want to tell yew abowt my mourning in and out of the box the other mourning. This happened to me, Nooledes the pewdel, in the mourning. Four those of yew who do not live with me and daddye and sumtymes other daddye, yew maye not now that I sleep at nite in my box, witch sum peeple call a krate. Daddye sez it's becawz I will pee on the flour in the mourning insted of wakking him up to tayke me owtside. I lyke to sleep in my box, but sumtimes i lyke to be owtside my box.
So the other day, in the mourning, i kried and kried early in the mourning becawse i had to go pee and i wanted daddye to here me. So he gots up and grumbled sumthing at me....i reallly dew think he has toretz sindrome....and we went owtside. I peed on the rocks that i lyke to pee on and then we came insyde and daddye put me back in the box and we went back to sleep.
A little wile later I deesided i was lonely and thught maybee daddye and other daddye wuld want to play with me, so i kried and kried again and other daddye got up this time and took me owt of the box. We went in the living room, were my big bed and joody blanket sleep, and i frolicked on joody and other daddye gave me yogurt drops. It was a wondurful mourning!
Then other daddye sat down at the komputer to do sum wurk. This made me so mad and sad becawse I wanted to play sum more with her and with joody. So i told her, other daddye, I am NOT dun playing and i sujested that we play sum more. But she egnored me! Noolsed! Then I wanted to type on my BLOG but other daddye was wurking and wurking and hogging mi komputer. I culd not tipe on my BLOG! And i had thingz to saye!!!
So i kried and kried and barked and other daddye desided it was time to go back in my box. I was so mad and sad but i went becawz as i menshuned once befur, I am a kooperativ poodel and do not lyke to make waves unless I am in the bathtub.
So i slept for a lyttle bit and then i decided i wanted to see wat other daddye was doing owtside. Daddye was still sleeping and his snouring was ceeping me awake. So i kried and kried and kried kried kried kried kried kried kried kried until other daddye kame and took me back owt of the box and she told me kwiet poodel! do not wake up daddye!
Se we went back to the other room and she closed the bedroom door and we played a bit and had mur yogurt drops and then she was back on my komputer again. Then i realized with the door closed, i culd NOT SEE daddye! I cannot see him all the tyme becawz the VET sez i have katsandrats in my Iz. Sew i went to the door and smacked it with my feets and kried and kried and kried kried kried kried kried until other daddye came and picked me up and put me back in the box!!
I was so mad and sad becawz I did not wont to go back in the box again! I have a lot of things to do and i cann not do them if I am in the box! Think owtside the box i yelled at other daddye!! She muttered something under her breath, i think she kawt daddye's torretz sindrome.
Enywayz, daddye woke up finally and took me owt of the box and we frolicked on joody and he gave me yogurt drops, while other daddye glowered at me. She ceemed upset and I do knot now wy!

luv, poodel in a box

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Loook! I gotted mi hareskut!

Well hello, it is me, Noolsed the Poodel, tiping at yew live in my BLOG a fuw daze after I gotted my hareskut. I woked up the other mourning and Daddye took me owtside so I culd pea and poop and after I peaed and after I pooped we cept walking arownd the block.
I said "Daddye, i do not WONT to go arouwnd the blocke!" but daddye said "Kome on yew littel rat" and he mayde me keep waulking even thouogh I did note wont to wawulk enymour.
So I went along with daddye becawse I'm a kooperatev poodel and I do not lyke to make waves. No i do not! So we get around the korner and low and beahold there is a big vann parked there. And enside the big vann lived a MOBIL GROOMMER DADDYE, a meen old lady who grabbed me out of daddye's arms, threw me ento a bathtub then warshed mi hare and my bum-bum and doodel. When she was done warshing me, she took owt sum clippers and kutted my hare! alls of them!
Here is wat I looke lyke now:

I was so mad and sad while she was kutting my hare, but wen I got home, daddye and other daddye, wen they were dun laffing at me becawse my hed looked too small for mi boddy, gaved me peenut butter kookies and frolicked with me on mi joody blanket.
I am no longer mad and sad becawse yesterday I passed a lady on the street and she said I am a bewtifull girl and a preshous angel! I said "Stranger daddye, I am NOT a girl, I AM A BOYE poodel! Look, I halve a doodle!" But she did not look at my doodel, she just moved on, but I was glad to be called bewtifull becawse I am. I am a PRESHOUS ANGEL!

Luv, preshous poodel

Thursday, September 29, 2005

did you miss me?

well HELLO to my frends owt thare. daddye told me that sum peepil have asked him wen i was going to tipe in my BLOG agen. i did not forget abowt yoo or my BLOG but i have ben verry bizy becawse i started a yoga class. i luv yoga!!!!!! i am the best in the class at down dog of corse but i also like at the beginnning wen we lay on our mats with all our feet in the air agenst the wall to warm up. most peepil in the class only get to put TOO feet in the air but i get to put FORE feet up in the air!!!! i am the BEST yoga-er!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well thare has ben allot going on heer at home too with daddye and other daddye. a litel wile ago thay came home with a big surprise for me - thay browt me a HOLOWEEN COSTYUM!!!! and it is so QUTE!!! gess wat i am going to be for haloween! no i am not going to be a rat! not i am not going to be a princess! i am going to be...........

a LADYBUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

look, heers sum picshurs - look how qute i look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the day thay browt the LADYBUG costyum home for mee, NOOLESD, thay also browt me another surprize. daddye dosnt think of thees things so much but other daddye nows that ACSESSORYES are the kee to looking good for poodles and for other she browt me a new neckerchif! it is SO SO SO SO SO SOSOSOSOSOSOS O qute! it has PINK POODLIS on it!!!!!!! like mee! excipt i am not pink. but i am a poodle and i LUV my new neckerchif!

This is me, NOOSLED THE POODLE, tiping in my BLOG wareing my new NECKERCHIF:

i havint tawked to tally daddy in a lowng tim, i wonder if tally daddy's mommy daddy dyed. eether that or mabye tally daddy deesided to stop pooping. that is wen me and tally daddy yoosed to hang owt all the tim, wen we werr both owtside pooping. i lik to poop and i miss my best frend tally dadye. ware is the fone, i think i will give her a call wen i am dun tiping in my BLOG.

in otherr news, i do not now if enywon has fownd joodye daddye's shoose yet but i, poodle the DETEKTIV, am still on the case. so far, with the help of my frend anonimiss, i hav determinned that the shoose are in kansis. now i just need to get to kansiss and then i am SHURE i will be able to find them and make joodye daddye's feet not be cold enymorre. is kansis far frum daddye's howse? i do not now. i will mapquest kansis wen i am don tiping.

wat else is new? well won day i was playing wiht other daddye...well she was playing and i was a litel skared becawse she was folowing me arownd the apartmint and i culdnt get away! she folowed me and folowed me and at furst i was laffing and haveing a gud tim but then it just got a litel weerd. enyway, she was folowing me and then i thowt we werr done playing folow the poodle so i deesided to go into the bathrom and see how the garbige in thare was doing. i lik to bring sum garbige owt to daddye everry now and then. its nise garbige, but most of the tim he yells at me wen i do this. i do not now wy - i am just trieing to be nise to him and to the garbige!

enyway, i went to go see the garbige and i did not now that other daddye was still playing folow the poodle and she folowed me to the garbige and she yelled at me wen i went to get sum!!!!!!!!!! i was skared - i JUMPED wen she yelled at me and it was SKARY!!!!!! so i ran to hide behinde daddye and he yelled at me too!!!!!! well that was NOT NISE of eether of them and i was so mad and sad. wy dose daddye allways yell at me wen i am beeing nise????????

i was so mad and sad at being yelled at that i deesided i wuld show daddye not to yell at me - i wuld RUN AWAY. so i got sum of my stuff - sum food, and i wanted sum sweets but i culd not reech them, and my joodye blankit and a bottel of water. i rapped it all up in my new poodle neckerchif and tied it to a stikc. and then i wated by the dorr for sumwon to open it. i wated and wated and wated and then no won opened the dorr so i wated and then i was tired of wateing so i went to take a nap. wen i woke up, daddye had left for werk so i new i wasnt going to run away until later, and i was hungrye, so i put on sum cartoons and opined up my bundel. i ate the food and drank the water and the cartoons werr verry gud that day - i luv thowse powerpuff girls! so i deesided i wuld run away sum other tim.

ennyway it is almowst tim for yoga blass so i need to go get reddy. i hope that yoo are all happye to heer frum me, poodle and that yoo will bring me presints wen yoo come to wach cartoons with me soon.

luv, poodle

Sunday, September 11, 2005

bie footown! i luv yoo!

well look at me, NOOLSDE THE POODEL, tiping not won but TOO entrees to my BLOG today! this is a furst but i think now that i am such a gud tiper that i can rite allot of entrees wen i want to. dont yoo think i am the best tiper? yes i am the best tiper!!!!!!!!11 enyway, i have ben verry bizy lately so i have not had tim to tell yoo everrything that has happined to me lately and i now yoo want to now so i will tell yoo too times today.

i want to tell yoo abowt wen my footown ran away! it was so so so so so sad. i luved this footown, it was so flufy and soft and eeven wen my bakc hurted me wurst, i culd still jump up on my footown to cuddel in my joodye daddye blankit and get sum rest. wen the VET told me i had to BED REST after i hurted my bakc the furst time, that is ware i BED RESTED allot. i wuld forlick on the footown with daddye - oh it was the funnist wen he wuld rap me up in my blankit and then tickil me and i culdnt see ware he was or ware the tickiling was coming from. i laffed and laffed and coffeded and barked sumtimes too - i luv wen daddye frolicks with me.

enyway, last sunday, daddye and other daddye got up and werr making brekfist and thay made pancakse but thay DIDNT MAKE ENY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!! can you imajin leeving the poodle owt lik that????? that was not nise daddye and other daddye!!!! that was meen to make pancaskes and not give eny to the poodle.

well thay sat down on the cowch (the won i am NO LONGER ALLOWED ON) to eet brekfist and i furst went to daddye's side and he told me NO POODLE! and made me leeve that side of the cowch! then i thowt that perhaps other daddye had just maybye forgottin to get me some pancakis so i went to her side and she sed GET AWAY FROM ME POODLE! and she put a pillow up so i culd not jump up on the cowch next to her! i was MAD. i luv pancaskes and thay both now it! how culd thay forgit to give me sum pankackes tooo??????????? so i cryed.

but then i stopt crying and sed, no, daddye and other daddye both werk hard all week long and thay dont get to spend as much tim togetherr as thay wuld lik, so i will be a gud boy poodel and leeve them alowne wile thay eet weekend brekfist together. and then if i am a gud boy poodil, mabye thay will reemebir that i LUV pancackes and thay will give me sum!

that sowndeded lik a gud plan by a smart poodel, yes it did. daddye got up to get sum morre tee, and other daddye was doing a croswerd puzel. i was leeving them alown wen all of a suden, I HAD TO PEE SO BAD!!!!!!! oh it was so bad, lik the baddeest i have everr had to pee in my hole life! but i didnt want to dissterb daddye and other daddye becawse i REELY wanted pancaskes! so i looked at them and looked at them but neether won of them reelized that i had to pee so so so so so bad! i was going to go tell daddye that i had to pee but i was trying to leeve him alown, so i didnt now wat to do! then i reelized i culd take care of it myself, with my frend footown.

i jumped up on the footown and - AHHHHHH - oh my gudniss, nuthing everr felt so gud as wen i peed rite then. and nuthing everr felt so bad as wen other daddye looked over at me peeing on footown and she jumped up and yelled POODLE! WAT THE HELL ARE YOO DOING?????????/ oh my, other daddye was so mad. i was scareded! i ran over to daddye hoo was stil in the kitchin making tee and hid beehind his legs and then other daddye told him wat happened and he yelled at me too. GODDAMMIT POODEL! (i did not approve of eether won of thare langwige wen thay yelled at me, but deesided that was perhaps not the best tim to bring it up.) daddye made me go in my caje and stay thare foreverr! i was thare for a long long tim and eeven thow i cryed and cryed and cryed and cryed and cryed, nobudy cam to open the caje so i culd go frolikc in the livng room with daddye. sumwon turned on sum musick in the other room lowd enuff that i had to cry eeven lowder to make shur thay herd me, but that did not werk eether so i just deesided that i was not going to get eny pancaskes that day EEVEN THOW I WAS A GUD BOY POODEL HOO DID NOT BOTHER DADDYE OR OTHER DADDYE WEN THAY ATE BREKFIST and i took a nap.

wen i came owt, i felt so bad that all i wanted to do was go curl up with my joodye blankit on a dry part of footown and take anothir nap. i cam owt and had sum water, and then i frolciked on over to footown and FOOTOWN WAS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 i do not now ware footown went but i do now he was not ware i had left him under the windows wen other daddye and daddye got mad at me! the hard part of footown was stil thare but thare were blankits and towels hanging on it, but my soft flufy footown was GONE!!!!!!! i didnt now wat to say! wy wuld footown go away just becawse i peed on him? i did it beefor and footown didnt go away - wy this time? i was so so so so so so so so so sad. i fownd my joodye blankit on the littel bed neer daddye's desk and i layed down thare to think abowt ware footown had gone, and then i went bakc to sleep.

well no footown enymorre for me, poodel, and no pancakes eether. it was a bad bad day.

i miss yoo, footown. com bakc!

luv, sad poodle

hare cut

deer dyarie!

well my hare has bin flopping into my eys for a long tim now and daddye has bin trying to bring me to the place ware thay cut my hare. i meen, he did not eeven ask me if i wanted a hare cut and yoo now wat, i DO NOT! i am tryinig to grow my hare long and shaggye like the skinny indy rockers i see sumtimes wen i wach videeos on MTV. other daddye calls them trajickally hip but yoo now wat, i think thay are not trajikc, thay are QUTE! enyway, wy dosnt he get it, man? i do not want to look lik everry other poodel! i am my own poodle with my own stile! i am an indivd indvi i am the only poodle hoo looks like me, NOOSLED!

so the furst tim he wanted to take me for a hare cut, i preetendid that my bakc hurt and hurt and hurt and daddye BEELEEVED it! oh it was so fun, i lafed and lafed wen daddye called the hare cut place to tell them we werrent coming that day!

the next tim, daddye faked me owt. i thowt we wir just going for a walk owtside so i culd pee on the rokcs by the front dorr - but we turned the other way at the dorr and started walking down the blokc, and the next thing i new we werr heading to the hare cut place! i did not want a hare cut and i tryed to tell daddye but he wasnt paying me any atenshun.

daddye left me at the hare cut place and he didnt eeven care that i didnt want a hare cut! so he left me with the hare cut peepel, and i thowt i wuld explane to them that i didn't want a hare cut. wen daddye left, i was scared that they wuld cut my hare enyway, so i didnt let them. i moved bakc allot wen they tryed to put me in the hare cut thing and that didnt werk so wen they tryed agan i BITED the hare cut man! well i allmost bited him - it is hard to bite wen yoo only have a cupple of teeth - but i showed him, that BAD HARE CUT MAN, and he deecided that he wassnt gonna mess with me NOOLSED THE POODLE enymorre! so he calleded daddye up to come and get me!

wen daddye got thare, i did not feel lik wawking hom so i preetendid that my bakc hurt agin and daddye carryed me so i got to ride on his belley the hole way home. it was so much fun! i culd see evrrywon and they culd see me and it was fun to be tall and ride daddyes belly all the way home.

so i do not have a hare cut yet and i lik it this way! exsept wen i am frolikcing in the morning and i canot see the wall and i frolick rite into it, lik yesturday. i frolicked into it so hard that i wacked my hed REELY hard and i a littel sat down and a littel fell down wen i saw the STARS. daddye laffed and laffed and laffed and laffed and laffed but it was not funney that a littel poodel his his hed lik that!
it WAS NOT FUNNYE DADDYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111

luv, harey poodel